Book Review: Rage

I've been a Stephen King fan ever since I watched The Stand miniseries on TV when I was in the fourth grade. Like, a freaky fan. When I was in the eighth grade, I did a book report on The Tommyknockers. I am a sick, sad individual and I love me some Stephen King.

This year has kind of been the Year of the King for me. In addition to one of his best books ever coming out (11/22/63), I got a Stephen King bobblehead at Stephen King bobblehead night with the Lowell Spinners and I saw his speak at UMass Lowell earlier this month. This is a year after we went to Colorado on vacation and took a tour of the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park - aka the hotel on which the Overlook Hotel from The Shining is based and the one where the miniseries version of the novel was filmed.

Anyway, a few months ago, I came across a series by James Smythe at the Guardian, a fellow Kingophile who pledged to re-read every book chronologically. Frankly, I loved the idea. It appeals to both my love of Stephen King books and my obsessive-compulsive nature. Reading stuff I like AND doing so in a neat and orderly fashion. YES PLEASE. Plus I'll be able to read the things I missed over the years like, oh I don't know, the entire Dark Tower series.

I've been doing this for a few months now. I'm not as intense as Smythe, who is finishing them in a week. I have a full-time job that does not pay me to do this, plus I'm part of a book club which means reading other books plus - yeesh, book a week? By Stephen King? Good lord, there aren't enough hours in the day. But I'm plugging along and I just finished the fourth book.

The first three books in this project are standard King fare: Carrie, 'Salem's Lot and The Shining are all classics and ones I've read before. But the fourth is the first of the Richard Bachman series and the first book I've never read: Rage.

For those who don't know, Rage is about a teenage boy who takes a gun, kills two teachers and holds a classroom of students hostage for several hours. It is a dark book. There isn't telekinesis or vampires or ghosts to blame anything on; this is just a very sick and twisted boy. The book turns into a perverted Breakfast Club with Charlie Decker (the protagonist) and his hostages sharing traumas and embarrassments from their youth, embracing each other's struggles with abusive parents, confusing sexuality and issues related to popularity. Everyone eventually sympathizes with Charlie except for one boy who gets attacked by his fellow hostages and put into a catatonic state for his troubles.

This book is dark, as is the case with most of the Bachman books. But I was right in the middle of reading this book when the Newtown shootings happened, and the whole thing made me sick. Apparently, after this book came out in 1977, it had a couple of connections to real shootings. This freaked out Stephen King, who fought to have the book taken out of print and he won. I was only able to buy the book as part of an anthology with three other Bachman books.

I'm biased when it comes to anything penned by Stephen King but I have to say: I didn't like this book. It wasn't just the subject matter and the disturbing time I chose to read it, although that did affect me. No, it just felt like there wasn't a point to the matter. Rather than using this situation as a means to prove something else - the stupidity of high school cliques a la The Breakfast Club, the idea that everyone has had something crappy happen to them and we all have that in common, etc. - it just felt like this was a bunch of things that happened. I guess it does say something about Stockholm syndrome, but still. Nobody was all that sympathetic - not Charlie, in a sick and twisted way, and not even Ted Jones, who does nothing wrong technically - and therefore, in the end, I didn't care if everyone lived or died or what happened.


I used to think that Richard Bachman was created because Stephen King had been writing too quickly and his publishers didn't want to put out that many books by the same person in such as short period of time, and I think that's still sort of true. But the Bachman books are also so different. In the forward to this story, King talks about how much darker Bachman is, how he goes to a different place in his mind to write these stories, almost as though they're being written by someone else who just happens to live in his head. I see that now. The writing style is King, but the stories aren't. They're darker and the monster that haunts the characters isn't a ghoul but a person - a horrifying part of themselves or of humanity. And those are the scariest monster of all.

Top 10: Christmas Movies

Because I have a touch of the OCD, one of my favorite things to do is make a top 10 list of various things. I love counting down to my favorite song ("Everything Will be Alright" by the Killers), books (To Kill a Mockingbird), ridiculous Groupon offers (60% off Brazilian waxes!), people named Mick (Foley).

Some of my other favorite things are Christmas movies. I mean, I love Christmas and I love movies and I love having an excuse to watch the same things over and over again, so c'mon. It's like MADE for me.

So here is a list of my top 10 favorite Christmas movies. These are chosen based on my own personal taste, nostalgia, and how much I have a crush on Rachel McAdams (a lot). Feel free to add your own!

10. The Family Stone

The first time I saw this movie, I didn't like it. I think it was because I went into it thinking it would be kind of a goofy family fun movie. Ha-ha-ha, nobody likes Sarah Jessica Parker! So I was completely unprepared for the gut-wrenching twist at the end. A couple years later, I came across it on TV again and because I love me some Rachel McAdams, I gave it another shot. It really is a terrific movie. It's funny; it's warm; it's about Christmas; and not only is my girlfriend in the movie, but she kind of plays me (i.e. the annoying little sister), although I hope I'm not THAT bratty. Plus, I'm not someone who cries at movies a ton, but the ending here makes me cry every. Single. Time. Damn you, McAdams!

9. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

 I'm talking about the cartoon version here, and not the Jim Carrey version. I don't hate that version, per se, but it's not really the same story. It's understandable; How the Grinch Stole Christmas is a small picture book. They would have to embellish to make it a full-length movie. But the cartoon is where it's at, both for fun and for nostalgic purposes. And not just because Max seems to get more adorable every year.

8. Miracle on 34th Street

I was just the right age where I actually saw the 1994 version of this movie first. That version was just fine; Mara Wilson had just stolen everyone's hearts in Mrs. Doubtfire and it was back when Dylan McDermott was charming and handsome and not the modern-day incarnation of Bloody Face. But when I finally got around to seeing the real deal, I couldn't stomach the newer version any longer. Mostly because the change the ending (why???) but also because while Mara Wilson makes a fine Matilda, she is a sad replacement for Natalie Wood. And Edmund Gwenn would make anyone believe in Santa.

7. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

If movies like Miracle on 34th Street or The Christmas Carol are how we imagine and dream Christmas might be, Christmas Vacation is how they really are. The annoyance/pride you get from decorating your house; the expectations for a perfect holiday ruined by insane distant relatives; the joy of drinking eggnog out of moose mugs.

6. Home Alone

There is a certain generation of people (of which I am a member) where Home Alone is THE definitive Christmas movie. Sure, we all watched Miracle on 34th Street on Thanksgiving and It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve, but those movies were older than our parents, not to mention some of our grandparents. Kevin McAllister was us - he was our age, he fought with his parents and siblings, and he got to be the hero that saved Christmas. There are certain parts of this movie I quote year-round, and it's one of the few that I will continuously turn on whenever it happens to be on TV, no matter when I last watched it. Kevin, you're such a disease!

5. A Charlie Brown Christmas

Oh, Charlie Brown, will you ever win? This is the Christmas special that stands the test of time. As a kid, I never missed Rudolph or Frosty, but nowadays, even though I have fond memories of them, I definitely feel old while I watch them. That will probably change when I have kids of my own, but for now, I guess we'll be on a break. A Charlie Brown Christmas still makes me excited. Sure, it's a little (a lot) preachy. Sure, Linus kind of comes off as a cult leader for parts of it. Sure, the allure of multicolored Christmas trees is a little out-dated ('60s, anyone?). But we've all had those moments of utter anguish at the commercialism of Christmas, and who wouldn't want to break out of that by singing Christmas carols outside with your buds and your best dog?

4. It's a Wonderful Life

Watching It's a Wonderful Life at Christmastime is not a question of "if" but rather "when." It's got to happen. No question. Occasionally, the viewing is more Mystery Science Theater 3000 than not. I mean, if you pay attention, especially during his interactions with his wife and kids, George Bailey is kind of a jerk ("Say, brainless! Don't you know where coconuts come from?"). But most of the time, you can't help but get a case of the warm-hearts when the whole town comes together to help out their crusty loan officer. Plus, we have this movie to thank for our beloved Bert and Ernie.

3. Mickey's Christmas Carol

This was my absolute favorite Christmas special when I was a kid. I loved the story (it was the first version of The Christmas Carol I ever knew), I loved Mickey, I loved how old-timey-London everything felt. In addition, it wasn't as popular as the other children's Christmas specials, and so finding when it aired each Christmas was a process. Lots of times, I would go a couple years before seeing it again, which made the times I DID see it extra special. It will shock nobody that I have not one but TWO picture-book version of this story.

2. Love Actually

I think this movie is appropriate to watch any time of year, but technically it is a Christmas movie. It has a little bit of everything - humor, love, sadness. As warmed as you are to see the prime minister hook up with his servant girl (aw?) and little Sam get kissed by his dream girl while bonding with his loving stepdad, you're continually disappointed by the straying of Alan Rickman's otherwise sweet Harry or Laura Linney's brother butting in while she's ready to get down with Carl, the enigmatic chief designer. Every time I watch the movie, I hope Emma Thompson's gift contains that gold necklace and that maybe Laura Linney's brother DOESN'T call to ask about Jon Bon Jovi performing an exorcism (although, side note: that would be an awesome sequel). I think what I like best is the fact that so many of the love portrayed in this movie isn't romantic: an aging rocker and his best friend/manager; a grieving widow and his stepson; a supportive sister and her mentally unstable brother. That's the kind of love most people find themselves surrounded with during the holidays, and Love Actually portrays it in a realistic, sweet, and hilarious way.

1. Scrooged

Like Home Alone, I could watch this movie over and over for days and not get sick of it. Heck, I could probably quote large swathes of it to you right now. Want me to? Don't challenge me. This movie is just pure fun, it's Bill Murray at his comedic best, and you get a glimpse of Lee Majors starring in The Night the Reindeer Died (not to mention a Goulet Cajun Christmas). I realize it's not the most heart-warming entry and maybe I should have stuck Love Actually or It's a Wonderful Life at the top, but hey. This is my list. And if all 10 of these were on TV right now, I'd be watching the Solid Gold Dancers, nip-slips and all, and Marylou Retton perform The Christmas Carol.

Fell into Fitness

There are a lot of positives to working at a college, and one of the biggest is the free gym. Especially when you work at a college known for its active and athletic students. I get free access to the countless treadmills, bikes, ellipticals, free weights, strength machines, pool, indoor and outdoor tracks, and more. Plus, there is a whole department of people whose job it is to run this facility and design programs and activities for students and staff. The staff program - Employee Wellness - consists mainly of staff-only group exercises classes and a points system for motivation. (Complete with prizes! Last semester, I took home a yoga mat, stability ball and resistance band. Yessssss.)

Anyway, they also have a lot of programs and seminars. This semester, they had "Fall Into Fitness," where they assessed each participant's fitness in September and again at the end of December and awarded prizes to the most improved. Today was my final assessment.

I was kind of dreading the day. I wasn't nervous, per se; I knew they probably wouldn't fire me if I did a lot worse this time around. But I had been sick the previous week, which meant I couldn't really work out, and I've been struggling with my eating lately. I already knew walking in that my weight would go up (it did). As for the actual physical tasks, I had no idea.

I wound up doing just fine. I only improved slightly on the two bodyweight exercises - most pushups and squats you can do in a minute. I did 27 and 52 respectively, a whole one more each from September. But the real money-maker was the one-mile run. In September, I finished in 8:05, a decent clip, at least for me. My internal goal was to get under eight minutes, but knowing how little I'd been able to run in the past few weeks, I wasn't sure. Thankfully, I blew it out of the water, finishing in 7:50. I AM THE FASTEST WOMAN ALIVE. Or something.

The official results aren't in, but I'm sure I didn't win. My improvements weren't great, and I'm sure other people who didn't take most of the past few weeks off performed much better. But just because I worked as a team with a couple of other people in my department, I did get a free shirt, which means it was all worth it. Because that's the only thing about working at a college: you can never get enough free t-shirts.

Candy Cane Cookies

Pretty much all of my free time at home over the past couple of days has been devoted to cookie-baking. I know, it's a tough life I lead. I've already made multiple batches of four different types of cookies and last night was the fifth: candy cane cookies.

(Recipe originally from the Betty Crocker Cookbook, with alterations.)

1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup confectioner's sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon red food coloring

Heat oven to 375F. Mix butter, shortening, confectioner's sugar, egg and flavorings. Blend in flour and salt. Divide dough in half and blend food coloring into one half. Shape 1 teaspoon of dough from each half into a 4-inch-long rope. Press ropes together lightly and twist. Place on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 9 minutes or until set and lightly brown.

I'd also suggest sprinkling the cookies with sugar before baking them. Despite the multiple forms of flavorings, the taste is actually not very strong.

I've been baking long enough to know that the estimate of just how many cookies a recipe will produce is an overexaggeration; that or I make the world's most ginormous cookies. But this is the most ridiculous one yet. According to Betty Crocker, this recipe should yield four dozen cookies. That is baloney. I'm always lucky to get two dozen; last night, I wound up with about 26 total (minus the broken one I disposed of orally).

These cookies are a funny tradition in my family growing up. The recipe came from my mom's 1970s-edition Betty Crocker Cookbook and were always a big hit with me, my dad and my brother. They tasted good - light and almondy and not overpowering, perfect with a cup of tea or coffee or as a chaser for a richer, more chocolately dessert. Plus they're fun-looking. Candy canes! Yay, Christmas! But they're a huge pain in the butt to make. The process of rolling out the dough and twisting it is one thing; there is also the cookies' consistency: soft and flaky, which is yummy to eat but comes with a propensity to break apart in many pieces. My one casualty last night was actually kind of impressive. So, with that debate raging every year, whether we actually made them at Christmas or not was really a toss-up.

Betty Crocker no longer puts this recipe in her book (and yes, I realize Betty Crocker is not a real person, but she is to me so LAY OFF), a fact I was extremely disappointed to discover when I moved into my first apartment and got a copy of my own. What the what, Betty?! Frankly, the only reason I bought the book was because of this and her apple pie recipes (which is still included). Thankfully, I was able to copy it out of my mom's book and now make them every year.

Obligatory Introductory Post

 Photo from cherryblossom.org.

This marks about my 1,000th attempt to start a blog. I always have a lot of grand ideas - I love to write and wish I did more of it; I have a lot of varied and sometimes contradictory interests; and most of those interests have some bizarre goal.

So that's the point of this latest blog. We're thisclose to either the end of civilization or a new year, and either way, I'm prepared to start anew in either the netherworld or 2013. Either or. My hope is to post something every day, or at least five days a week, and subjects are varied. Some options:

• My dog. Sorry, I'm borderline obsessed. But I'm also toying with the idea of having him trained to be a therapy dog, which would be its own adventure. Charlie is a sweet little corgi, albeit a little hyper, and kids just love him. And adults. And the elderly. I'm thinking after two, maybe three, classes, he's drafting peace treaties with North Korea. 
• Running. I run. Oftentimes, I don't really like it. I took it up two years ago as a way to get in shape and lose weight, and it worked. I keep myself motivated by continuously signing up for 5Ks, and I keep myself motivated for THAT by starting my latest goal: finishing a 5K in as many different states as possible. I'm up to four (Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania and Connecticut) and I just found out today that I was accepted to take part in the Cherry Blossom 5K in Washington, D.C., on April 7. That means running alongside the reflecting pool and passing the Lincoln Memorial. So cool. My experiences in my 5Ks - large and small - have all been outstanding, which is enough to keep me motivated to run five days a week to stay in shape. 
• Baking. I run hard, I eat hard. I try to make my "cheat" days/meals as worthwhile as possible, and I truly do love baking - trying out new recipes, making things pretty, decorating cakes and cupcakes. I'm in the midst of my annual Christmas cookie explosion, so my freezer is officially Cookie Central. Chocolate chip cookies with red and green chips; chocolate cookies with dark chocolate and mint chips (aka Andes cookies); peanut blossoms; candy cane sugar blossoms. It is insanity. I'm pretty sure I've already gone through five pounds of flour and a pants size.
• Reading. I'm a librarian and a writer, so - SPOILER ALERT - I read. A lot. I'm kind of snooty about what I read - a lot of classics, a lot of the highly regarded literature - but not TOO snooty. I just can't get into the supermarket fiction of James Patterson and John Grisham (although I love a lot of Grisham's older works, like A Time to Kill and The Client). I have a creepy obsession with Stephen King and after reading about The Guardian's James Smythe's attempt to read every King book chronologically, I, too, am game. I've already gone through Carrie, 'Salem's Lot and The Shining, and I'm in the midst of Rage, the first Bachman book. Admittedly, it feels a little wrong now, after the tragic events in Newtown, Conn., so I'm on a bit of a hiatus, focusing on catching up on my magazines until it seems more appropriate. I'm also in a Snooty Book Club, started when a friend of mine couldn't stomach a few hundred pages of Fifty Shades of Grey to join a different book club. I just finished The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, which was amazing.
• Traveling. We don't travel as much as we'd like, since all those lottery tickets we don't buy never seem to pan out, but we do as much as possible. We're also really good about being tourists in nearby places. We walked the Freedom Trail in Boston this summer, an all-day activity that was more or less free. My Race Across America 5K project is a way to remind us to keep exploring, even the strangest of places, like Williamsport, Pa. 

There are other things I'm interested in and you'll probably see them. If, of course, I don't forget about you in a couple of weeks.